First of all, to the "knights" who have been watching my sites for the past 5 days and nights, I thank you!  Needed the time, guys and because you were there, I've had it.  It's a gift I will not soon forget!  For my "prayer warriors", I thank you.  While I would love to say that it's me and the changes I'm making, God is giving me a peace in this that could only come from your prayers!  A gift I don't deserve, but am very thankful for!

 

No headache this morning upon waking and no blurring.  No leg cramping last night.  Eye swelling is not so pronounced... What was the story behind all of this?

 

Little known fact...by me at least, is that RAI, the nuclear treatment I took this past summer, can have this effect on the eyes.  It lasts for up to 24 months after treatment and then becomes self-limiting if it does not progress to the back of the eyes.  I don't have the bulgy eye thing going on.  What I have is swelling on the upper and lower lids.  The muscles are okay and apparently are not being attacked.  Steroid drops or NSAIDS (non-steroidal anti inflamatory drugs...aka aspirin, ibuprofen, naprosyn etc. to bring down the inflamation.)  Doc gave me the steroid drops...I'm opting for ibuprofen and artificial tears, diet and lifestyle changes and it is slow but is helping.  It would have been helpful to know about this before I took the treatment, but it wouldn't have changed my choice.

 

There are three basic options for treating Graves' Disease.  First is taking Anti-Thyroid drugs in the hope of calming the thyroid down and thus bringing the disease under control.  Does work sometimes, but the drugs they give you kill you.  You can only stay on them for a limited time and then, if you still have problems as many who don't die from the treatment do, you need to chose one of the other two options anyway and take thyroid hormone for the rest of your life.  My thought was "Why prolong the agony when the treatment takes so long to go through anyway?"

 

Second option... Radioactive Iodine.  Basically, you take the pill.  Your thyroid dies.  You live happily ever after...with the possibility of eye and skin complications and it takes a while for the thyroid to die.   My skin complications have resolved with the RAI and I am having the eye stuff...and I have to take thyroid hormone for the rest of my life.

 

Third option...Surgery.  Cut the thyroid out.  Scaring and vocal complications as well as the rest of the risks you get with surgery...and you have to take thyroid hormone for the rest of your life.  Having gone through the RAI, if this had been an option, knowing what I do now, I would have gone for it.  My heart wouldn't have withstood the surgery though, so it was not a good option for me. 

 

So...in researching the eye stuff since this is a RAI response because instead of attacking my thyroid my body is now attacking my eyes, I entered into the murky world of "alternative and holistic medicine"....riiiiiight.  

 

 "See the light enterning the soles of your feet...  Hold the light at your ankels and watch it grow brighter..."  "Yes, you too can be cured by taking this herbal complex for only $19.99 for a ten day supply!  "No!  No, wait!  It's the Relaxation CD  that will cure it for you!  Your's for only $29.99!" Or maybe just a good solid book...ah, here's one!  "How All Doctors are Illiterate and if You Eat Raw Pig Thyroid, You'll Live Happily Ever After...Especially if You Sit Facing Southwest on a Slab of Granit and Wear a Pyramid on Your Head while Listening to the Relaxation CD and "Creatively Visualize" The Light and Chew Each Bite 67 Times Before Swallowing!"   Yeah...like I'm gonna eat raw pig thyroid...As if the Graves' isn't bad enough, now I'm gonna eat raw pig and die of worms too!  

 

Sorry, these people are nuts and my BS meter's pegged at this point.  Not for nothing, I have reached my titration level of eating green ... I don't even know what this stuff is in my oatmeal and need an alternative life right about now.  I just want to step out of this one and into another and I'll be just fine...

 

Basically I need to chill down the stress level...5000% which is kind of difficult to do at this point.  I'm supposed to spend at least 20 minutes twice a day in alpha or delta wave activity...that's right, I'm just supposed to turn it on like that...bring down the auto-immune response and inflamation...kick up the calcium and exercise for muscles and bones and just for giggles, knock down the ole cholesterol about 500%. 

 

Steroids make you go blind and eat your bones.  Every time I go on them, I'm knocking time off my sight and taking already degenerated bones that I got from Graves' Disease to begin with and making them worse.  I can't afford steroids again unless I absolutely have to.

 

So... NSAIDS for the inflamation 2X's per day... Exercise daily with gardening every day...I don't have to eat dirt when I garden you see... Kosher diet, olive oil for fat and cut processed breads.  Go with the whole grains and no yeast!  And...find the relaxation place for me...the thing that makes my mind rest...HA!  That's an oxymoron.  My mind doesn't  rest...  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  Did the thyroid do this to my mind or did my mind do it to my thyroid....or was it a "repressed childhood trauma" because all  females are traumatized by society because we're female...yada yada yada...

 

Time to move out of this place...What if I were to dictate what my "Creative Visualizations" are of.  I mean let's just suppose there are some people on this planet who just don't get into the whole "Light" thing.  So then it just becomes a matter of deciding what I want my "Creative Visualizations" to be, right?  Something that makes me feel happy and relaxed....Winning the Mega Millions would do that.  So if I "Visualize" winning the Mega Millions twice a day for 20 minutes each time, my Graves' will go away and my life will be great, right?  Problem is that I haven't won it yet and at this point I'm thinking that maybe God doesn't think it's a great idea to let me.  It gets pretty frustrating visualizing something you can't have.

 

It might just be me, but I see an inherent problem in this whole "visualization thing."  I can "visualize" a lot.  I can!  I can put myself anywhere on the planet and in any lifestyle I want and "visualize it."  Doesn't make it real.  Doesn't make it happen.  Just means I can "visualize" it."  Doesn't make my life better to do this, just means I can see it in my mind's eye.  I can write a story with a happy ending.  Doesn't mean that's where my life is.  Just means I can make it work in written language. 

 

You know, in my life, all I've ever wanted was to be a Mom.  That was it.  I wanted those kids so bad, and I had them and raised them as best as I could.  The boys made their choices.  I'm not happy about where those choices put them, especially knowing what I do, but they did make them.  Now, the one thing I can't do is visualize life without them or just as bad, to see them doing the unthinkable.  It makes me want to die inside...to not go on...and I wonder why my body is attacking itself...riiight.  The thing is, they did want to do this.  I fought them and they did it anyway.

 

This may make some of you uncomfortable to think about, but I think it needs saying.  The problem here is not with terrorists...or whether we are right in this war or not.  It's not that my sons are Marines and I should support them.  I already do and they know that.   The problem here is how to "visualize" my life beyond being "Mom."   How to "visualize" it for me.  Therein is the structure of the problem.  There are things I really want to do at this point in my life.  I love to write and I want to keep doing that.  I want to travel and see some of the stuff I've been waiting a lifetime to see.  I want to do something with all of this work I've been doing on here for the past...what 7 months, and see it comes to fruition.  That's the life I want to have...and maybe visualizing that will guide my feet into it.

 

So no headache this morning and no blurring.  NSAIDS, drops, exercise, eating better and getting out and puttering in my garden for a few minutes in the freezing cold several times a day seems to be working.  Cramps are gone with the calcium.  That's a major blessing.  I guess today I get back to it.  "Mom's" going to take a different emphasis from here on.  I need to stop stressing about the news and start building my own life.  I've been getting a lot of Graves' hits and searches.  I don't want to write about that only, but I need to move beyond the military stuff and into things that are important to me now.  I do support the boys.  I am very proud of them and always, I will love them, but...I can't live their lives for them and they shouldn't be living mine for me. Basing my life on them isn't a good thing for me anymore.  Sucks when they grow up, but they do and there really isn't any way of stopping it...  The pregnancy books never mentioned any of this...Imagine that.

 

So I move on and see where my feet land.  I've got some letters to write and get out there today...new directions to pursue.  I think I'm going to skip the news and continue working on me for a while.  It's time for me to start seeing the future because it really is now.  I'm kind of curious about what I'm going to find! 

 

God bless! 

 

A Mom in America

66 and a Wakeup until VET MARCH 2006

America, where are you going to be on April 25, 2006?

 

Hi Gang.  I'm here this weekend, but I'm doing some heavy duty research on Graves' stuff as I'm about fed up with vague answers and not knowing what is going on.  Let's just say that the opthomologist's appointment was not all that I had hoped for!  I'm about sick of waking up screaming in tears because of charlie horses that feel like somebody is driving nails through my calves and not being able to focus my eyes for two hours after I get up in the morning because my eyes are all messed up.  Not for nothing, but I'm not a whole lot of good to anyone here when I'm feeling like this so I'm taking some advice from my favorite Pastor in the whole wide world who told me that I am "just as important as everyone else on the planet." and I'm taking this weekend for me.  Thanks Pastor Dave!  I need this!  

 

My hope is that you guys will keep the countdown going for me because you understand that Mom needs some down time to fix some "mechanical problems."  Keep me in your prayers...that God will give me the "fight" to get this under control, the wisdom to discern sound counsel, courage to kick some serious medical butt and patience and endurance for the hard days and nights ahead because I'm about at the point of zero tolerance for this stuff at this point, and NO FEAR!  This isn't exactly the happily ever after we were looking forward to after "nuking the ole thyroid" and I'm really angry about it right now so I could use just about all the "prayer warriors" I can get at this point...and ... AND  if you don't have any "faith" GET SOME NOW  because I  need you to have it for  me at this point! 

 

And not for nothing, I miss the hell out of my boys right about now! 

 

God bless all of you...and me too!

 

A Mom in America 

70 and a Wakeup until VET MARCH 2006

America, where are you going to be on April 25, 2006?

 

So, as I'm getting a lot of hits on the Graves' stuff and I had a checkup today it seems appropriate to update on that whole thing.  I am just about 7 months out from RAI.  My TSH and such 3 months ago were great.  Won't have these results for a few days.  They are probably good.  What's not good is my eyes.  It seems that the antibody that was attacking my thyroid is now attacking my eyes.  So much for being normal...  Apparently this doesn't happen a lot...neither did the hives and even less often after RAI, but it does happen soooo, I guess we start on that next week.

 

The thing about Graves' Disease, as my doctor explained to me today, is that once you have it, you have it for the rest of your life.  The antibodies are always going to be there.  This is not fun.

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

 

 

 

Today I'm 46 years old.  I'm feeling good and I made it to my "next birthday".  I won the bet with my Rheumatologist!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

WOW!  One short paragraph and you guys are all over the comments section!  Hmmm....  Well, there is a whole bunch more to say on that issue, but I need to update on this one first as it's a biggie to me.  As I write this and 12:40 am the Vet and Pixie are out securing Son #2 and bringing him home for the holidays!  BIG YEAH!  In the interim, while I would love to say I've been baking cookies or something like that, I haven't been.  Yes, Mom has been preoccupied this week with many things, but one has taken priority and is finally DONE!

 

Now, to fully appreciate why this is so important, I need to take you back a couple of years.  Two Christmas' ago, the Vet arrived home from Iraq.  It was December 22, 2003 when he was released from Ft. Dix and we came home to one of the biggest culture and climatic shocks I have ever witnessed in another human.  We made it through Christmas fine and into January, when the real cold weather sets in up here.  The Vet did pretty well with the changes, I thought, until I awoke one morning to the Vet ripping down the walls in our bedroom.  We live in an old, uninsulated farmhouse and he decided that we needed to insulate... that day.  Thus commenced " The Bedroom Project." 

 

The Vet took down the two outer walls.  Son #2 and I took down the rest in a wrecking bar fest which made me never want to become that intimate with plaster again in my lifetime!  Insulation went up.  New wiring went in and then came the sheetrock... and at about that point, I started getting really really sick with Grave's disease.  I had Graves for many years without knowing it, but at that point, it was into my heart and I started going downhill fast.  The Vet, at that time was having a tough time adjusting to the fact that he was home, the kids were grown and life moved onward but knew something was going on with me so the room kind of took a back seat to getting things cleared up. 

 

Once we figured out what was happening with me and I started medication, a year had gone by.  I was still sick so the Vet hit the spackle in our room.  Well, the Vet hates spackeling.  He doesn't just hate spackeling, he despises spackeling.  He doesn't just despise it, he doesn't do it well and he knows it.  So, the spackeling kind of stopped and by that time, I went radioactive because it was time to kill off the old thyroid gland.  As the treatment progressed, putting two coherent thoughts together became increasingly difficult.  Time, relevancy, all of these things took on completely new aspects for me during that portion of my treatment for Graves.  We talked about finishing the bedroom through that time, but it was on a completely different planet than I was, so it just kind of sat there. 

 

Thyroid died.  I began taking Synthroid and getting a TSH level established and finally tested within the normal range at the end of October.  Great, right?  Not really because I was still experiencing temperal displacement and having a rough time with figuring out what was and wasn't relevant to me.  So, the room continued to sit there... until I woke up about a week ago and realized that there was no reason why this room should still be unfinished.  Thus, between angel costumes and Christmas program practices, I have been sanding and spackeling until today.  Today was the day of painting!!!!!  So, as I write this, I have just finished putting the last coat of paint onto the walls of our room.  Tomorrow, the Vet will put in the new baseboards and the furniture will be moved back into our bedroom. 

 

It's done.  Sometimes, it takes a while for things to fall together the right way.  Going through the RAI treatment with Graves is one of those times.  I can honestly say that my sense of time, purpose and relevancy is now getting re-established and things are happening.  We're moving forward again and it's a good place to be!

 

God bless and Merry Christmas!

 

A Mom in America

Oh yeah....  the thyroid stuff!  Five months ago, I began this site to document my travels through the Radio Active Iodine ablation treatment I was starting for Graves' Disease.  Today, for the first time in at least 13 years, my TSH is "within the normal range."  I'm there!  Finally, I'm what is considered "normal".  It feels different from where I was and it's going to take a while for my body to heal from all of this, but I am finally there, and that's a good place to be, I think! 

 

So, to anyone about to go through all of this, hang in there!  You will get through it!  It gets better once you start the replacement treatment and it does take a while!!!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America 

Lot's to write about today, but I thought I'd start with this one first.  I went to the endochronologist yesterday...amidst my other travels and actually had a very good appointment.  I've lost 5 pounds, my face is somewhat clearing, my heart is good!  I have not been dieting or exercising, althought I should exercise, but I am starting to feel better and am thus a little more active now.  Interestingly, I discovered that my weight problem has been a part of this all along and is probably going to pretty much take care of itself as I progress into the normal state of where I should be.  My energy is also getting better now.  Big problem for me has been the hives.  The right side of my face is pretty well cleared now, but I have a new crop on the left by my ear and along the chin.  This too is a thyroid thing.  As my levels normalize, they should leave.... forever. 

 

So things learned....yes you can have hyperthyroidism and a weight problem.  This tends to be a problem with hypothyroidism, but can manifest in both.  My hives are a very rare symptom of thyroid disease and in this case it stinks to be unique but they should go away.  Finally, you actually do start to feel better in this whole process.  I am at that point now.  It's going to take a while to get me to the optimum place I should be, but I'm right now taking my first few steps into that place and it feels pretty good. 

 

This has been a very long trip, but the end is finally in sight and I have hope of being there soon.

 

A Mom in America

Yesterday I did something that I was wondering if I'd ever get to.  I waited all summer for it and the summer passed.  I waited into the fall, hoping this day would come and finally it did.  I went out and worked in my yard... in the gardens I put in while Tom was activated.  My summer of confusion and dissorientation is finally over I think.  Thankfully, I am able to get out there and straighten up the mess before the ground freezes!  I was focused in a way that I haven't been able to in months.  I started a task and finished it which again I have not been able to do. 

 

It was only a little bit.  I weeded the garden by the shed and cut the lawn on one side of the yard, but I was able to do it... and it felt really really good!  Just to be outside and moving in the misty rain, feeling the dirt under my nails and finding the last of my flowers under the weeds felt so good!  Weather like this... the mist in the fall, it was made for weeding and transferring bulbs!  I love to be out there in it! 

 

I missed the summer this year.  It was one summer that I gave up to the RAI treatment so that I would be able to enjoy more summers in a better way.  My gardens, burried in weeds, will survive.  I'm able to get out there now and prepare it for next year.... and I will be there to enjoy them then.  Wasn't so sure about that this past spring.

 

Yeah, it was worth it!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

There has been much interest lately in the Graves' situation with me on this site.  As I haven't updated in quite a while, I felt that I should.  I am completely off of Topryl now and have been for about 2 or 3 weeks.  It was difficult coming off of it, especially with my synthroid level where it was.  I had bloodwork done about a week and a half ago and my TSH was not really present, so the synthroid has been cut back 25 miligrams.  Since the cutback I am having pressure in the area of my thyroid but my face is clearing rapidly and I am feeling much less tense.  I was having difficulty sleeping for 3 nights prior to the cutback and my face was getting worse by the day.  The rash had spread across most of my right cheek and was developing along the right side of my jaw.   

 

I believe that the TSH needs to be present for the parathyroid glands to work and those are probably what control the situation with my face.  I will ask my doctor at the next visit.

 

Since the cutback, I am feeling tired but not in the same way that I was before.  It's more just plain tired and afternoons are difficult, but they were before as well. 

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America 

I haven't really posted on the Graves' stuff lately, primarily because it's been a little tough.  I've been coming off of the heart med and that has been kind of tough.  Lots of blood pressure fluctuation and the face hives have gotten very prominent on the right side of my face.  I am able to work, which I'm thankful for, but get very tired by the end of the day, which, unfortunately is when I have to do my posting when I work.  I am able to do a little more every day and that's a blessing!  

 

My head is feeling much better since coming off of the heart stuff.  I'm feeling much more "connected" as time goes by.  I'm on the synthroid every morning and will be for the rest of my life.  I just wish the face would clear!  Next doctor appointment, I guess!  Oh well.  

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America 

Having a tough day today with the Graves' stuff.  Feeling very "headdy" and very very tired.  Face is getting better though, so I guess that's a bonus.  Think I'm going to take the rest of this day off.

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

Boy, it's been a while since I entered one of these.  I'd like to say that everything is wonderful now.  It's not.  Doc said it'll probably be 6 months or so before things normal out.  Gee, this is a great time to find that out!  Still getting the hives on my face.  My head still comes in and out but not so severely.  Have finished T-3 and feel the lack of it.  Coming off of the Topryl and definitely feeling the lack of that, but not as badly as I thought.  Concentration is difficult at times and I'm having a real difficult time with the concepts of dates and times... figuring them out which is kind of weird!  Slight ear problems but not anything like before.  Lots of joint pain and fatigue.  Other than that, things are wonderful....

 

Oh well.  Ya just keep going.

 

God bless! 

 

-A Mom in America

Doctor was yesterday.  Some extreme symptoms of excessive hypothyroidism.  Jaundice, swelling of eyes, mental detatchment, slow pulse, low blood pressure, cold sensation, yada yada yada.... Yup, my thyroid is now officially dead.  I am on T-3 and Synthroid for the time being and am finally beginning to wean off of the Topryl.  Finally.....  Today I am feeling better.  A bit more normal.  Slept well last night and feel rested.  From here on, it's just bloodwork and checkups.  Now the work of healing begins.  In six months to a year, I should be feeling "normal".  I feel okay now.  Comparatively speaking, I'm back today.  That's good.  So this is what RAI was like. 

 

Advice        ... I would monitor the blood levels more closely, nine weeks was way too long to wait

                        Watch your head, it gets weird in there.

                        Take the time off that you need

                        It doesn't happen overnight... this is a really long process!

                        You do get through it.

                       

 

God bless!

 

-A Mom in America

                       

                       

I would love to start this entry with an "Okay, gentlemen, this is a women's issue so skip it if you want to."  I can't because it's not.  As a Christian, I should be all over this thing with a furvor and fury that would convert the heathen.  My religion is not the biggest reason I oppose the "Plan B" pill.  I thank God it's been delayed, but that's not my main reasoning. 

 

I whole heartedly oppose this thing for health reasons.  This thing is not only going to kill unwanted children, it's going to kill a lot of women and girls too.  It is.  This thing opens up a womans system to infection.  It should not be sold without a prescrition nor should it be taken without a doctor's supervision.  That's the bottom line.  If you check back in my archive to July 19, I documented two more infection deaths on this in California.  It's not okay.  It's not safe to take without a doctor watching and it certainly isn't safe to sell over the counter.  I can just imagine a 15 year old taking this critter a week or two into a pregnancy thinking that "Well, it worked for Jessica, it'll work for me too."  Yes, that is how teenage girls think.  It's how a lot of adult women think.  You can make the writing on the package as big as you want.  That's what is going to happen because it's easy and "nobody but you will know" and unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be an age limit on stupidity or fear of an unwanted pregnancy.

 

The other problem with this "Plan B" is that it brings to light a huge problem in our society.  That is the cheapening of the sexes and the relationship between them.  I've watched this develop throughout my lifetime.  It used to be, when I was very young, that the relationship between a man and a woman was the biggest thing in life that there was.  With women's liberation, birth control and abortion came an attitude of "It's my body and my life and I will run it my way."  The entire concept of "we" in everything and especially sex was lost.  "My needs" have become the most important. 

 

The thing about the female human body is that as soon as she choses to join with a male in a sexual relationship, she has opened herself physically to "We".  Women were not built to be "I" and "Me".   We are built to be "We" and as soon as there is a possibility of a baby, "she" becomes "we", physically and psychologically.  That's how we are built and hormonally it's how we are wired, and guess what ladies, we aren't the only ones.

 

Yes, gentlemen, the secret is out.  You're wired into this thing too.  Physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Ladies, guys don't have sex as casually as you think or they think.  Everyone may want to believe they do, but they don't.  OIFVet and I have had three children together and you want to talk about a nut case?  My husband when I was pregnant was a crazy person.  He was.  I've been reminded of that time over the past few weeks.  I've been very sick for the entire summer but things culminated over the past couple of weeks.  The treatment I underwent in June reached it's final goal of killing my thyroid.  Wednesday of this past week, I was pretty close to dead.  I had a TSH level of 54.  Normal is around .4 to 5.0.  I was leaving being alive.  My husband was ballistic.  I haven't seen that man go that crazy in 15 years... since the birth of our daughter.  He was calling my doctor everything under the sun.  He was.  It wasn't his body he was upset about, it was mine...because we are wired together through sex.  My body does not belong to me alone, just as his does not belong to him alone.  That concept is being ignored by our society by making sex and pregnancy "women's issues."  They aren't and they never have been.  They are human issues and as such should be addressed by all of us.

 

When a woman has an abortion or takes a pill to eliminate the result of her union with a man, she not only kills a baby, she kills a part of herself and a part of her partner.  That part is the part of us that enables us to be more than animals.  It's the part of us that loves unconditionally, thinks abstractly and makes us human.  Civilization has been built on this very thing, this relationship between men and women that bonds them for a lifetime.  When we devalue it, when we throw it away and treat it as meaningless, civilization is lost.

 

Life and the ability to love this way are the two gifts that we have been given. 

 

 They should matter more.

 

 

-A Mom in America

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good morning!  This was a good morning.  I awoke well.  The swelling in my eyes is going down.  I'm actually feeling pretty good today.  My head is a little achey, but I'm able to focus more easily.  Getting better!  This is a good thing!  It really is like walking out of a "grave" with this.  I know that's not where the disease got it's name, but that's what this feels like. 

 

Anyway, the world awaits and there has got to be more riveting commentary to write about something!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

It's cooked!!!!!!  Just got the bloodwork back and I start on the road to feeling better today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I made it!  Thank you God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Now I've just got to get to the pharmacy....

 

-A Mom in America

Week 9...  After yesterday, my husband is not a happy camper.  Yesterday we had the bloodwork done.  As I was brain dead, my husband dealt with the doctor on the phone, only to find out that if I do start the replacement meds, it's going to be another 35 days till I start to really feel the effects of it.   That's if we got the thyroid.  If we didn't, I'm going to be pretty angry because this is not a fun way to live.  I think we did, though as that is what my symptoms would indicate.  The one negative I have about this treatment is that it takes a very long time and is not a sure shot thing.  

 

We went in early on the bloodwork because, basically, I am not doing real well right now.  I'm having a very difficult time focusing on anything mentally and optically.  My eyes are swollen and yesterday morning I was seeing things in two's and three's for a half hour or so when I first got up.  I am cold most of the time now and have a constant aching in my head.  The bloodwork won't be back till this morning sometime and hopefully I will hear from the doctor then.  

 

I was up at 4:30 this morning, generally uncomfortable but able to get through the news and say "Hi" to the kids.  After that, everything else I accomplish till bedtime is candy at this point.  Another day of "wandering" I guess. 

 

God bless!

 

-A Mom in America 

Hi Kids.  For those of you checking up on Mom, I'm okay.  Haven't started the stuff yet and still waiting on the bloodwork.  I'll pop in tonight to check in on you all again.  I'm sorry I missed this morning!  Haven't been feeling too well today.  God bless!

 

-A Mom in America

Sorry about this morning's entries being missing.  Bloodwork called and we may just be over this a bit sooner than I thought!  Today would be nice!!!!  I would like my mind back at some point.  Anyway, thank you for your patience and once I have caught up on the events of today I will be posting if possible. 

 

God bless! 

 

-A Mom in America

Well Kids, this is hopefully the final week.  10 am and I'm toast.  I'm getting very tired and "zoning out" a lot.  Not real teary.  Not real depressed either.... just kind of flavorless jello this week.  I'd like to have a brilliant thought but they are kind of few and far between.... okay, they are beyond my capacity to produce right now.  I'd like to get excited, but I think the stuff that enables me to get that way is pretty much gone now.  My eyes are puffy and have been for about 2 weeks now.  Hives are gone.  Throat aches on and off but not much.  Ears are okay.

This is week nine.  Bloodwork and meds are hopefully Monday.  It isn't that I feel "bad" just not here, not present, if that makes sense.  Kind of absent from my own existence.  "Altered states of consciousness...."  That has been my summer.   Yeah...

 

-A Mom in America