Time to break the silence, it would seem.  I received a letter, well two actually, from the Ryans yesterday.  I don't know how many of you out there remember them, but Sgt. Eddie Ryan and his family live not too far from here.  I, like many in this area, have been following his progress and recovery from extensive head wounds he received in Iraq.  The interesting thing about the letters is that, while one is written by Angie, Eddie's mother, the other was written by Eddie, using his left hand as it is still difficult for him to use his right.  Knowing my own left-handed penmanship, I'd say that he's doing very well!   Sgt. Ryan sends his thanks for all of the kindness and support.  He wanted us to know how much he appreciates all of the cards and prayers he receives and to let us know that our "support and encouragement helps to motivate" him!  The only thing I will add, and that for clarification as it is on Angie's letter, is that there will be an HBO special about Eddie that will air on July 4th and to please visit Eddie's website at www.helpeddieryan.com .

 

     God bless you Sgt. Ryan, and your family!

 

     Semper Fi!

 

     As to my own family, I suppose an update is in order.  As you all know, we were expecting a grand-child when last I wrote.  My grand- daughter arrived before Christmas at 25 weeks gestational age.  A normal pregnancy runs roughly 40.  She weighed 1lb 5 oz at birth and at present is, I believe, just under 5 lbs.  She is still in the hospital and , while I have not seen her in person yet, from the pictures I have seen, she is beautiful.  The fact that she has survived, I can only attribute to divine intervention and the blessing of excellent medical care!  While there are some problems there,  she really is a miracle baby and any prayers you can send for her would be greatly appreciated!

 

     The father of my grand-child is my oldest son.  He contracted a type of pneumonia shortly after arriving in Iraq.  Military medicine being what it is, they still aren't quite sure what type it was, however, they are sure that there is permanent lung damage from it now.  He is currently on a medical board and under treatment for an asthmatic condition that has developed out of this injury.  While he would like to remain in the Marines, his ability to do so lies with the medical board.  He is still serving at this time on light duty and could use all of the prayers you can send.

 

     My other son took some shrapnel in his leg while in Iraq and received a purple heart for his injury.  What he did not receive was the medical attention he needed immediately after and in follow up to the injury and, nine months later, it has been found that the shrapnel is imbedded in a major nerve group in his leg.  He will finally be seeing a surgeon for his condition this Friday.   He is still serving, received three days light duty immediately after the injury and has been on "light duty", in which he is still going to the field and training for some unknown reason, for the past two weeks.  Prayers for him would be greatly appreciated as well, especially this Friday!

 

     The Vet, Pixie and I are all doing well, although, as I write we are currently burried under quite a bit of snow that came through with the storm last night.  I think we are going to be spending the day shoveling and pulling out the Irish movies for St. Patrick's Day.  I'm also thinking that there is a corned beef and cabbage in the fridge that will be boiling soon.

 

I wish you all well and hope you have a happy St. Patrick's Day!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America 

 

Okay..... There seems to be some confusion about what's been going on in life here.  For all of those who think "Mom has gone nuts", she hasn't.  My sons are now both home from Iraq.  For the past LOTS of months, we have been going through deployment shuffle with them and it's been horrible.  War usually is.

 

Son #2, the younger of the two, deployed first.  He was in about the worst place in Iraq that you can be.   This summer, his vehicle was hit and he was wounded by shrapnel.  As the wounds were not life threatening and did not do extensive damage, he stayed with his unit and returned to duty shortly after that event.  Yes, he sets off the metal detector when he goes through airport security.

 

The day after Son #2 was wounded, Son #1, my oldest, arrived with his unit in Iraq not far from where his brother was.  Eleven days later, Son #1 got into something and went into Respiratory Failure.  He was kept in Iraq for roughly a week until he could be stabalized and was then sent to Germany.  As he was being flown to Germany, his wife found out that she is pregnant with our first grandchild.  After some time in Germany, Son #1 was sent back to the States because he is still sick and they can't figure out what is going on with him.   

 

We're working on that.

 

Meanwhile, Son #2 has finished his deployment and is now back in the States.  We were able to see both of our sons for the first time since they left for Iraq this past weekend.  They are both here in the States AND so is their father!  For my family, this is an incredible thing!

 

So, if my life seems confusing, it's only because it is.  If you can't follow what's going on half the time, join the club because keeping track of all of this is challenging, to say the least.  Our life isn't perfect and we've got some serious battles ahead of us with our oldest and his health but in our own quirky way, we're together in this and are working it as a family.   It may not seem normal to the rest of the world, this lifestyle we are in, but this is who we are and how we live.  Both of my sons are Marines.  My husband is an "on again, off again" Vet.  Our nation is at war and our life is involved in that, a lot.  Like most families in the military, we have and continue to face multiple deployments in this war...but, on days like today, it's good to have us all in, relatively speaking, the same place.

 

 

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America      

 

 

 

 

 

Well, as some of you may have guessed, we weren't here this weekend.  Our seven months of waiting has now ended.  We were down in NC seeing our boyS who are now MEN.  We stayed with son and dil #1.  Slept in our future grandchild's room and greeted busloads of Marines returning home, one of whom was our own #2.  Seeing the two of them together, all grown up but still horsing around....  it did my heart good! 

 

I'd love to say that everything is perfect now.  It's not.  #1 is having a really tough time.  His health isn't good right now and he is very frustrated because healing is a slow thing.  It isn't like this is a bone that can knit back together with him.  Every breath is difficult for him at this point, but there is something I do take comfort in with all of this.  He's a trained Marine.  #2 and the men of his unit reminded me of that.  You see, it wasn't just the families that showed up for the homecoming.  All of the wounded from the unit who could make it came too.  Some were just regaining the ability to walk.  One, the burns were just freshly uncovered on... scars covering his face, his arms and legs that he will carry for life.  His leg was braced and I could see how difficult it was for him to stand and walk.  The thing is, he was there because he is still a Marine and he wanted to see his brothers home. 

 

At graduation from Boot, the families are all told that their son's are now Marines and that means they can do anything.  I thought it was just a bunch of "oorah hype" at the time, but as I looked at the men of #2's unit, as I watched the wounded greet their brothers home, I realized how true that really is.  They have been trained to "identify the enemy" and "neutralize it" with a precision that most of this planet cannot comprehend.  These wounded that I saw were utilizing that training in their recoveries and their ability to do that reminded me that these men are trained to do that in everything in life they encounter.  It's what makes them Marines.  They don't give up on themselves in anything.   It's their job to find a way to make things work the way they decide they should and all of them, the wounded, the sick and the homecomers, display that in everything that they do.   They love life and they love living it with an intensity and passion that most will never know or understand.  

 

Yep, Marines are something different.  I take comfort in the fact that they are and that both of my sons have chosen to be Marines.  It takes a whole lot of courage and inner stregnth to do so, but my God, what a way to live!

 

I could probably write a book about all that we saw down there in these young men this weekend.  It was a rich experience full of the stuff that gets you through life.  That's for another day though.  Today, it's a day of quiet rest for my family in which we all savor the hours we had together this weekend and all that we learned in them.  In a bit, #2 will be home on leave for a while.  I imagine we won't see too much of him then, but when we do, I sure plan on enjoying it!

 

I thank God they are both home!  He has blessed me more than some and I really don't deserve it!  I am thankful, though, and hope that I can keep "lovin life" with the passion that is born in moments like these.

 

Welcome home #2!  #1, you keep working it!  I love you both!!!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America 

 

 

Another day here.  We got the first "baby pictures" of my grandchild.  It's a ..... blob!  I'm so proud!  I'd put them up but ... well, I'm thinking that there are some things you can only truly appreciate if you are related to them and this is one.  I am always amazed, though, by this whole life thing that we do.  Even though it's still just a "blob", it moves and the heart is beating.  All of us are left wondering what the rest will be for now.  Life is there though and is making it's presence known. 

 

Coolest thing on the face of the planet... aside from seeing your baby on the ultra sound for the first time is talking to your baby after he has seen his! 

 

After conferring with #1, I do have permission to publish...... SOOOOO  Above is the latest addition to our family!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom.... actually A GrandMom in America 

 

PS

 

This is the stuff that life is about!

 

Blessings!

 

MIA 

aka

GMIA

 

 

Okay.........of interest today......   The Vet showed me this video this past weekend.  It impressed me for many reasons, but mainly because it showed a view of Iraq not covered by the sound bites and talking heads on the nightly news.  I think people need to start seeing this with an eye to what is walking home from Iraq.  These kids aren't boys anymore and the "Soccer Mom" mentality of Cindy Sheehan and crew ain't gonna cut it with them.  There is a faith in these "kids" and a courage that is very raw, very strong and very real.  Might want to start getting ready, America, because you really have no clue on this one.     

 

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

Boy, it seems like a long time since I've written about Eddie!  I guess because it has been a long time since I have.  Today is the update I've waited a very long time to write, though.  Sgt. Eddie Ryan came home from Helen Hayes yesterday.  He's finally made it home after 16 months of recouperation and rehabilitation and his Mom came home with him.    She's been with him the entire time.

 

The house was ready.  The entire town was ready... and now that the whopla has died down, it's time for Eddie and his family to begin the rest of their life. 

 

Angela, Chris and Eddie, God bless all of you and I thank all of you for the sacrifice you have made and continue to make every single day because you thought we were worth it.  I just hope we can live up to that.

 

This family still has many battles ahead and could use all the help they could get.

 

http://helpeddieryan.com 

 

Semper Fi, Devil Dog!  I am so proud of you!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

 

A Mom in America

Hi.  Life is nuts right now with the kids.  I have decided that someday I'm going to write a book about all of the stuff that happens with adult kids that none of the pregnancy books talk about.  I'm in the middle of that right now. 

 

Had an interesting little happening with the Graves Disease over the past month.  I am now post RAI just a little over one year.  I changed jobs this summer and began eating better and exercising because the new job entails a lot of standing and my legs and feet were bothering me.  Nothing big, just a couple of minutes a day on the elyptical machine to up my circulation and bring the fluid out of my legs and feet.  Soooo, without realizing it, my weight started dropping.  I was feeling better .... had LOTS of energy and was really getting a whole lot done.  A little on the snappy side but I figured that was due to stress... until one of the boys was wounded.  It wasn't anything major, but I started crying and couldn't stop crying.  Literally, my eyes would just not stop.  Sooooooooo, after 24 hours or so, I decided that I needed to go see the doc and either get this fixed or get some serious drugs because I couldn't stand being around myself. 

 

Doc said okay, here's a script for drugs, but lets take some blood and find out if there's anything happening.   Didn't fill the script and the next day, Doc was on the phone explaining to me that we had a little problem.  It seemed that I was hyperthyroid again.  So I asked Doc what caused this, being sure that it was the situation with the son.  He says well, no.  That's not it.  The problem is you've lost 13 pounds and we're giving you too much synthroid so you are in a medication induced hyperthyroidism. 

 

Wonderful.

 

So I ask Doc, if he is in fact saying that by doing all of the right stuff, I've messed myself up again.  He said no, I want you to keep doing the good stuff, we are changing your meds and I want to monitor you more closely. 

 

So, as of now, my meds are adjusting down and I'm still settling out there, the kid is fine but the other one isn't and somewhere in here, I'm gonna be a grandma.  Life just keeps getting better and better!

 

I keep reminding myself that children are a blessing.   While my own are pushing that concept a bit to the limits at present, Littles is on the way and I'm liking the idea of being a Grandma!  I'm also liking the idea of watching my own kids be parents.  Somehow there is a divine justice in that!!!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

Sometimes, the hardest thing to do on the face of the planet is nothing.  Sometimes the hardest thing to say is nothing.  Sometimes the tears fall and you just can't stop them.  Those times are these times and because I have loved, I have to be still.  I hate that, with everything that I am, but I will honor it because of them.  All  of them.

 

Keep your butts down, your heads covered and know that the northern lights still shine!

 

I'll meet you all there!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

Today, at the age of 16, Pixie has been accepted into college.  Why?  Because, like all of my children, she is brilliant!  At about the age of 9, she had figured out the educational system in this country an by the age of 13 had decided that at 16, she wanted to be in college.  Today she is. 

 

Interestingly, as the tester was watching her take her tests, she went over to my husband and asked if she was home schooled.  Of course he said yes.  Pix started home schooling at about 3rd grade.  The tester said, "You know, you can tell the home schooled ones."  I guess that means there is a difference.

 

So this day, when I graduated my kindergaden class, moved up 1 through 7 and said goodbye to my 8th grade, my own daughter, my baby, has graduated from "Mom's home school."  I'm so proud of her, I can't begin to describe it!  She's made it into all that I hoped that she would and the world is now before her.  Always the one to "grab" for what she wanted, this one is going to take off into everything I hoped she would.  Home school made a difference with her!  She thinks with freedom and writes as she breathes!  Our community did too!  The Librarian who saw the spark and nurtured it, the neighbors who taught her the value of hard work, there is a community in this child, but I taught her too.   All I can say is "You go girl!  And you make me proud!"

 

One of my favorite verses in the Bible has to do with teaching.  I can't quote chapter and verse right now, but one of the commandments God gave to his children is that they were to teach their children with fontlets and phillactories.  He told the Isrealites to "Teach your children in the ways of the Lord!"  The commandment there is to "You" personally.  He never told people to send their kids to someone else to raise.  He told us to teach them and raise them ourselves.  I've done that to the best of my ability.  Today, my baby has been accepted into college.  I have done what I was commanded to do and it feels really good!

 

So today my brilliant daughter, because this one is going to put my writing to shame, is moving onto college.  World, you might want to watch out for this one.  She is brilliant, German and Irish and if anyone is capable of taking over the world, it's her!  Right now she's just worried about picking the right courses, though, so you've got some time to figure it out...about a week.  From that point on, you're on you're own!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

Hi G and all.  No great wisdom except to say one down and two to go! 

 

 Also, my visitor from Jacksonville, and I know  you're out there, the china closet is in and the dishes are out!!! WOOO HOOO!  Looks really nice and all of those boxes are now history!  Pix is working on the sock pattern, so wash your feet before you come!  LOL!  Looking forward to seeing you although the second interview is looking to be very likely.  Should know more about that on Wednesday.  If so, and all goes well, schedule is going to get erratic but we will manage.  Looking forward to seeing you soon! 

 

God Bless!

 

A Mom in America

 

PS

 

BRUSH!!!!!!!!!!

 

LA

 

Mom

Man, you go away for the weekend and guess who calls twice.... The kid doesn't call for weeks and now suddenly he remembers how a phone works.  ARG!!!  He was able to get hold of his girlfriend, which is good.  She said that he sounded good by the time he hung up.  That's a relief at least!

 

Otherwise the weekend went well.  My in-laws are doing well and it's always great to see them!  Car ran well for the trip and was very comfortable.  Seems to  be a gas shortage down there.  Had to look hard to be able to find regular gas and prices were jumping all over the place.  They were predicting $5.00 a gallon by the end of the summer down there.  Can't imagine what it will be here as we usually run highter.  This is all due to the ethanol thing, supposedly.  People aren't going to be able to afford to get to work, but I guess that's okay.  Who needs to be working anyway?  We'll just all go on welfare!  Yeah, that'll work!

 

So much for middle Amreica...

 

Life goes on.  Vacation is over and it's time to go back to work.  Hope everyone out there is well. 

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

 

 

Unusual post tonight.  I've been getting many wonderful emails for the past couple of days from some wonderful people and they really give me hope!  This one, and the coorespondence that ensued from it, I had to print.  I don't know how many of you out there remember our Bradley gunner from the 6/8 Cav, but he's one of my "adopted" kids that I cooresponded with via spaces during his deployment.  I got this email today which is typical of some I've been receiving, so I asked him if he would mind if I posted it with my response as it's good information that can't be put out there enough!  I love hearing from you guys, especially you "kids" so if you're in the neighborhood, be sure to write!

 

I'm gone for the weekend, but will be back Monday.  Hold the fort for me and if you see a soldier, sailor or Marine out there or their families, stop and do the right thing.  Say thank you!

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

 

 Thank you again for all the support and kindness you gave me while I was overseas and when I returned home.  I still check your blog every few days to see how things are going.

I wanted to write to say thank you for your additions on the 20th and 21st.  As usual they were very poigniant and heartfelt.  I understand why you have shut down your comments, it's much the same reasons I felt it necessary to shut down my blog for a while, and again when I returned stateside.
From my time overseas I can understand how hard it is not to have a way of communicating with family and friends, especially when the little bit of info you have indicates something terrible going on.  I'm probably beating a dead horse when I say never fear for your son/s even in the worst of it because they are American Soldiers.  A mother will always worry for her children but the men standing to the left and right of your sons will watch over and protect them.

If you would be willing to send me your sons overseas address I'd like to send some boxes.  If not your sons maybe a soldier he knows.  I apologize for the clumsy attempts of kindness, nothing I can say will be able to repay you and the others like you the kindness you have shown me.

Nathan

 

Hi Nathan,

I always smile when I hear from you and today was no different! It means so much to me that you are dropping by and even more that you took the time to write! I always love hearing from you kids, but it really means a lot to me now that my own sons are deployed and deploying. These are tough days, but we are getting through them, one at a time. I hope that things are going smoothly with you on your redeployment home. I know it's kind of strange at first, but you do get back into the swing of things eventually. Talking helps, but what we have found is that after you have experienced a deployment to Iraq, some things just won't ever be the same. You learn to adapt and go on, which I'm sure you are discovering.

I appreciate all that you have said, about my son and the soldiers...well Marines, who are with him. I know they are good, all of them and my heart and prayers are with them every single day. In thinking about your request to send packages, I know that you know what I have to say. I can't give his address or any identification information about my son or those that he serves with here. I would love to, but I can't and won't as it is not a secure mode of communication. However, in considering this, I realized that just like you, my son could be any service member over there serving at this time. Well, not quite true. He is after all, a Marine...so any Marine over there. Because of that, I put my son's name into the care package program on Marine Parents. You can go to this page and check out the program. Any assistance you can offer with it would be greatly appreciated, not only by my own sons, but by all of the Marines who are in this program and their families as well as myself. It is http://www.marineparents.com/usmc/troops-packages.asp

When my other son deploys, I will be adding his name in there as well. They will both be receiving a package every month from this program.

In closing, I do have one more favor to ask of you. I am getting emails like yours since posting my email address. Rather than write everyone, would it be possible for me to post your email and my response on my site so that my readers will know about the Marine Parents program and how it works? It would save me a great deal of work and help bolster the program if I could publish about it. I also have to admit, it would really make my day to be able to put up an email from one of you kids! Your full name and address would not be included, but I'd like people to know that our Nathan is still around and standing with those who serve. If you could let me know as soon as you can, I'd really appreciate it. Nothing will be posted on it till I hear back from you.

As always, Nathan, God bless! I thank you for everything you have done and continue to do. I am so proud of all of you kids, I can't even begin to tell you! It's an honor for me to have been able to get to know you through this medium and I really do cherish the relationship I have with all of you. I am continually amazed by all of you kids and count myself as blessed to have known the leaders of tomorrow here.

You make me proud! Keep it up!

God bless!

A Mom in America

 

I would be happy to be of assistance in any way possible. Feel free to post my email. In addition I was hoping you would be able to add a quick blurb about http://www.anysoldier.com/
I know that you are a marine mom but you've been a great supporter of all the branches for so long now.

Thank you again,
Nathan

My son lost a comrade since he's been there.  It explains a lot of the why it was so hard for him to talk to me on the phone.  Because of the war, I'm not at liberty to tell you where or how or when, just that another faceless Marine has passed and there aren't enough tears in the world to bring him back. 

 

You come here looking for the circumstances...Just how bad was this kid blown apart when he died? The reporters have made their dime on this one.  They wrote their stories all the way to the bank.  Carnage is big money in the news industry.  The more dramatic and emotional the story the better.  The more gore they write the more papers they sell.  What happens to the soldiers they are with, to those they make their living off of, it really doesn't matter.  Just another story to sell for them.  What's another dead kid when big bucks are involved? 

 

My heart goes out to the family of this Marine, to the Marines who were with him and their families as well.  There has been so much death in this war...so many young men who have given the most prescious thing they have to give, their lives.  I am so ashamed that this country can't find it within itself to rise above it's own narcisism and stand behind these young men and women who are giving so much.  I have always hoped that we would find within ourselves the capability to be the nation we were once respected as being...the one that stood firmly behind it's troops once they were committed to foriegn soil, the one that didn't waver or falter.  Now, we're just a bunch of entertainment junkies...looking for the next thrilling story of death and defeat.  Where there was once kindness, there is now cruelty.  Where honesty once stood, sarcasm rules.  Where faith prevailed, post modern aethism is enforced.   Constancy and endurance have been replaced by cowardice on dsl. 

 

We really still are at war in Iraq, America.  Our kids are still over there and dying.   It's not because they aren't well trained.  It's not because they don't know their jobs.  It's because you are too chicken to let them and the rest of the world know that you are firmly here, backing them 100% of the way.  You are making them and their families walk this war alone and I am so sick of that.  All of them deserve more.  It isn't the insurgents that will defeat them there, America.  Your ridicule and scorn is doing that here.  Such a gift...it disgusts me to see you waste it the way that you do. 

 

Another Marine has come home.  He was loved by his family, by those who were with him and the families attatched to all of them.  We all know that he could have been our own.  We all know that a part of him will always be in everyone of our own.  The tears have fallen for this fallen Hero, for his family and our children who remain there, for the country that could be standing behind all of them but isn't. 

 

Another day came to a close and was crossed off of the calendar.

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America      

He's alive and whole, which is a blessing.  It's been a rough week.  These are some days that he's not going to soon forget, I think.  Me either for that matter.  You know, I look for the light at the end of the tunnel on this one and it seems real small at this point and getting smaller everyday.  Soon both will be there and I'm not real sure that there is enough diversion on the planet to keep me from going nuts.  And it's looking to be one very long summer. 

 

There were a couple of times he started to cry on the phone.  One was when I asked him if he had his Bible with him and was reading it.  He assured me he did and was, then said, "Mom, there are no aethiests here anymore."  Biggest comfort he could give me on this planet right now...letting me know that while living in hell, he hasn't forgotten his God and he knows that his God has not forgotten him. 

 

Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it through this thing whole.  I hear my son's voice torn by the sand, the heat and exhaustion that place inflicts.  I hear the disgust and heartbreak of my homesick kid who is horrified by the conditions and the tempermant of the population where he is.  I know what he is seeing and I know his heart and mind.  I pray he comes home to me but know he will never be the same.  In the weeks that he has been there, he has already seen too much and nothing will ever be the same for him again.  He is seeing war, in it's full living color and tactile delight.  He breathes it.  He smells it and walks through it everyday, all because he believed in you and me.

 

Hardest thing for him, I think, was hearing my voice.  He knows what I know.  He was here during his father's deployments.  He knows better than to try to hide anything from me, and I know how to ask questions that he can answer.  To hear his voice cracking when he said "Hi Mom?" on the other end of the line broke my heart because I know what it costs him to step back into this world for the few minutes that he can.   Talking about the dogs, the spring, all of the things he loves will only make it worse for him, so I focus on the next box and what he wants us to send in that, trying to give him some hope of something good soon to come.

 

All too soon, his card is running out.  I tell him I love him and to keep his head about him and then the line shuts off.  In my heart I see him hanging up the phone and looking around at the war that surrounds him, trying to make sense of it all.  He walks back to his hooch, neither here nor there.  He sounded so tired.  Hopefully he will get some sleep.  

 

He's just one Marine in this whole thing and I'm just his mom.  What happens to us in this war, in the scope of the planet, it's not a big thing.  It is to us, though, everyday till he comes home.  Another day closes and I mark it as gone.  With gratitude and pride, I know he has made it through today and that there is one less we all have to find our way through. Tomorrow will come with it's own set of circumstances.  We made it through this day and for now that's enough.

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America   

Heard from #2 yesterday.  He's okay, just very tired.  It's a long time between word from him.  This past week has been a tough one for all of us.  These are the hard months we're entering into now. 

 

Box went out in the afternoon.  This one with baby wipes, Fritos and tuna for the mainstays.  We're into the long part of the haul now.  I should have taken out stock in these baby wipes companies when this whole thing started.  I'd be a millionare by now.  I couldn't even tell you how many packages of those things I've shipped over to that country...those and cases of pouched tuna.  This is the first time I've shipped Fritos.  He likes the salty stuff in the heat, though, so I should have figured on that one.  I should probably send some oatmeal too.  He was always big on that in the summer. 

 

It's hard to see your kid do this, to know what he's going through and be able to know what he needs.  You try to compartmentalize it in your head and be as matter of fact as you can.  There's always a part of you that sees your little guy running around in a pair of shorts and nothing else in the summer, though, slamming through the kitchen door, grabbing a bite to eat and then running back out again to tackle the world.  You know what he liked.  You know what he gragged for.  As you put it all into a box to send off to a combat zone, you long for seeing your little boy running around in the yard in that pair of shorts again...just one more time.  Those were good days and I miss them.

 

The box is gone.  It will be a week or two before we hear anything again.  This one is definitely not a writer.  We busy ourselves through the days, looking for news that isn't there and he says to ignore.  I see a lot has changed with the media since the start of all of this...  Life goes on.  Changes happen and the gap widens.  This is the time of different experiences that make us who we are.  We try not to talk about it much, preferring the safety of the here and now to the longing for yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Each day comes and we handle it as best we can.  Diversion tactics are employed that help us realize that not everything is bad. Iit's just really hard being apart. 

 

You hope that people understand where you are in all of this.  They continue to inflict their take on the war on you and really don't understand why you really don't care what that is.  There is a place in this whole picture where none of that really matters.  Those who have been there, know it for what it is.  There is no explaining it to those who haven't.  Right and wrong become irrelevant there. Your only cause is your soldier, your little boy you know and love.  The days pass and you really look forward to seeing another one gone as the debate rages on all around you, but it cannot fathom and dare not enter the place that you are in. 

 

This is the place of the soldiers and their families.  It's the long watch through deployments of dangerous days and sleepless nights.  It's the place where people are standing and, yes, making  a difference.  It's a place of self-sacrifice for a world we hope to leave a better place.  Whether or not you deserve it out there, well, that's a question you will have to find the answer to.  We saw something in you that we felt was worth all of this.  I just wonder if you're ever going to find it.

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America          

There is one person on the face of the planet that I would open these comments up for right now.  One Ping Only, is there something you would like to share with me as to perhaps a welcome home kind of thingie that I need to write for a certain soldier?  A yes or no will suffice....  Oh!...but my comments are closed.  Tell ya what.  I'll open my comments when you start posting on your site again.  And if you can't post on your site, you  know how to get in touch with me.  I'll be keeping an eye out.

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America

 

Well box #1 is completed and goes out today.  We decided to have a little fun with this one and sent #2 a "beach party" complete with blow up kiddie pool, swimmie wings, a very bright "coral reef" set, fishing pole and little plastic fish, baseball bat and ball, frisbee, nerf football, bubbles, bucket and pail and of course the obligatory craisins, assorted dried fruit, pouched tuna and 1000 minute phone card and chapstick.  Something to keep the guys occupied during the off hours.  Sometimes silly helps.  That all goes out today and hopefull won't take too long to get there. 

 

You know, after the first deployment, making these boxes is getting to be a science.  There are the essentials...phone card, craisins and chapstick...and the morale stuff...the "beach party" and the like.  There will be the book and magazine boxes, the game boxes, the photo boxes.  This is the third time around on a deployment for me on this end.  I know the boxes are important.  I know what this kid is facing and it doesn't really get easier as I go.  It doesn't for the kids either, though, so the boxes get packed with as much love as you can fit into them and go on their way.  Hopefully in a week or two it will give a moment or two of smiles, bring back some memories of home and a time when the biggest thing they worried about was catching that fish in their little blow up swimming pools.  The football will get tossed.  The Frisbee thrown and all of it will probably end up in the hands of some kids waiting by the gate.  For a minute or two at least, though, they'll remember where they came from, who they are and why they are there...and they'll be "Good to Go."

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America  

I awoke at 4:27 this morning to the sound of his joyous cries in my heart.  "Hey Mom, I'm doing  it!" I heard him yelling, as though he were standing right there beside me...and I knew today was the day.

 

Somewhere today, a kid got onto an airplane that headed into the sunrise.  A girlfriend and a mother cried because the love of their life flew away to war.  Gone are the days of watching the little boy and his dog and his great big stick heading out across the yard and up the mountain to conquer the world.  The days of tree climbing and massive forts in the woods, of hiding in the forsythia and jumping off the roof will never be again.  Just barely a man, he now goes to war.  Both the girlfriend and mother know that no matter what, things will never be the same.  The tears fall for the childhood now ended so abruptly by war.

 

I turn to see the news, the Shiites being rounded up by the Sunnis like the Jews were in World War II and wonder when the concentration camps will come.  After all, isn't extermination the logical solution to this problem?  I see bombs exploding, people dying and I wonder how long the world will let this continue, how many will have to be incinerated, hacked to pieces, gassed and worse before peace is found.  I know that what he will see there and have to do to survive will change him forever, as my baby flies off to war. 

 

There are no words that can make this okay.  There is no comfort that can be given here, because from now until he is home, I live in the same fear and anger and anguish as does the entire nation of Iraq.  One of my sons is now on his way there.  In a few months the other will follow and every day that they are gone, I pray for an equitible peace to be found among a people bread to hate each other.

 

God be with my baby!  Send Michael and the legions of angels to protect and guard him and all who are with him.  Guard my baby's heart and mind and please bring him home safe and whole to the girlfriend, the family and me who all wait for him here.  Lord, please, Lord, let those people find their peace in this day!

 

I ask these things in your name Jesus,

 

Amen.

 

God bless!

 

A Mom in America